Well everyone has been asking me how I am handling being a mom. People want to know what has caught me off guard or what was I surprised about besides my breastfeeding challenges. Most people figured I wouldn't struggle with much these first few months because I had this "extra knowledge" from my job that would help me as I head into parenthood. Well my response now to that is, while I do have more basic knowledge and skills from working with babies than most first time mommas, it really doesn't prepare you that much more because every baby is different. Yes I can hold, bathe, feed, burp with ease but most moms pick up on those skills very quickly. What makes you the best at any of these things is learning your baby. Their cues, personality and temperament dictate how effective your actions are. You may know 15 awesome ways to soothe a crying baby and your baby actually wants way number 16.
Welcome to our house every evening oh around 5:30 or 6. Second to breastfeeding, this was the biggest thing I was unprepared for, the witching hour.
For the first 3 weeks we saw no signs of this phenomenon. The start of week 4 we started to get glimpses of it. The first night it happened it came on hard and fast. Three hours of crying from 5-8. I tried everything I could think of from 5-6:30 until Matt got home. By the time he did I was practically throwing her at him. He proceeded to try and soothe unsuccessfully. The night ended with me crying because her shrieks sounded like they were from pain and I felt so awful for her. She finally quit and Matt discouragingly looked at me and said something like, "and we thought she was such a chill baby..." The next few times it happened I was wondering is she developing colic like I had as a baby? We knew she struggled with gas pains and swallowed a ton of air breastfeeding, so I thought this was the source of frustration. So we loaded her with gas drops and 72 hrs later decided that wasn't doing the trick. I was just so upset that my baby was sweet or sleeping most of the day then as soon as dad was on his way home she would cry. I wanted her to be sweet for him too. He looks forward to seeing her every day and I wanted him to have the same cuddly baby I got to spend time with. As the days went on and it became more apparent it was happening at the same time every night, making it hard to eat dinner without taking shifts and enjoy the hours Matt first got home. Then when visiting Katie and lamenting about this new pattern, she chimed in that the twins were the same way too and she hated the witching hour. It instantly clicked with me, I had heard of this before but had not paid much attention to it because I was so caught up with the colicky thoughts. That is exactly what was happening. I felt like once I could name it, I could start to own it. No my baby is not a crazy, awful, crabby kid, she just falls victim to this phenomenon.
So this past week we have started to work with it. We have learned and picked up on her cues of what she likes best when she is sad. Matt and I both have our own different strategies that work well for us but not when we switch..weird I know. For Matt she loves to lay on his legs, swaddled or with him holding her hands, sucking on the binky and bouncing. When I try this, it does not calm her. For Matt it works like a charm. When I soothe her, I have up on my chest holding her butt with one hand and the back of her neck with the other, both hands tucked in, binky in her mouth and we walk and bounce. I have great success with this but Matt can't get her to calm like this as easily. Both of our methods however are trumped by 2 things. The baby bjorn and being outside. Wow, she loves that combo. You stick her in that thing and go for a walk outside, she is calm and usually sleeping within 5-10 min. This is great, the weather in KS this summer however is not. We can't keep her outside for too long without getting overheated and as soon as we come back in she inevitably wakes up. We had a stroke of amazing weather this weekend however and tried our theory out. Everytime we got her outside she calmed....even during the hours from 5-9! We were really excited and happy that it confirmed this was the witching hour theory and not colic. Not that either are preferred but my mom tells me terrible stories my colic of which I would cry ALL day, little to nothing would console me and it went on for awhile. I am not unrealistic in thinking we can solve this witching hour problem but I do think we can manage it until she grows out of it. And with summer winding down, my hopes is the temps do too.
Even with all of this, some nights are much worse than others. But on the other hand, that means some are better. This weekend made me hopeful that we can work with her to help ease the crying because I was surprised how well she did. It is still annoying we can't eat dinner together and we have to be actively doing something to soothe her every night instead of just relaxing (aka watching the Olympics) or going to do something fun as a family. But I am trying to be rational in thinking that it is only for a period of time and I don't want to wish away this age just because the evenings are hard. There are so many great things about this age and about her right now. I love her cuddle time, her sleepy smiles, her little size newborn diaper butt, her big inquisitive eyes, how small she still looks in Matt's arms, and what a great sleeper and eater she is.
So props to you witching hour, you won the element of surprise point. However the tally will not stay 1-0 for long, we are fighting back. Two against one has to win out in the end, right?
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