Post dates...or are we?

Here is the latest picture we took of her growing. Our 40 week sign is up but I have not been motivated to capture that picture yet.

You can still see the lip gloss stain left on my belly from your kiss at my shower Manda...never came out.

Well my appt this week was once again uneventful. Still 1/2 cm. I was 40 weeks according to my LMP on Monday June 25th but my girl cycles have never been the normal 28 days or whatever they are suppose to be so it's hard to use that date as an indicator for when we conceived. Sometimes my cycles would be up to 7 weeks, that's a three week difference! So according to her measurments and her earliest US (which is suppose to be the most accurate one), her adjusted due date is July 3rd. So much for me not wanting to be fixated on a due date...now since she hasn't come, everything seems to be revolving around these dates. I had to clarify with Rachel what our actual dates were this last appt because I honestly didn't know. Blah, it was exactally what I didn't want happening. Now people are asking and giving their two cents about how far post dates I should go and when I should have a scheduled induction for. Most people think I am crazy for not planning an induction by this point and having an "end date" in mind. That just goes to show you how common inductions really are I guess. Being induced for medical reasons is one thing but to be induced just because of impatience or because the baby should be ready anyway just isn't for our family. Matt and I really want her to decide when she is ready to come out. If she makes the first move then I will know she is done growing and whatever we need to do to get her out after that I could feel comfortable with. I still really want to see what it is like to go into labor and experiance that pitocin free. I am worried though she will hang out in there long enough that we may not get that chance before its advised medically to make a move for her. There are risk associated with going too far post dates. Your fluid levels begin to decrease and she still grows, so the risk of squishing the cord and her life line increases. The placenta also starts to give out after a certain point and stops providing the best nutrition/oxygenation. I am praying this is obvious to her and she will come before this all naturally starts occuring. We will have appts now twice a week to do non stress tests and check her fluid levels to make sure she is staying healthy and ok in there. As long as we agree to this, Rachel is totally comfortable going the full 2 weeks post due date waiting for her. The problem is picking a due date. We can go with the conservative date of June 25th or the July 3rd one. Even though the June date is probably off, it is hard to put my NICU mind to rest and bank on the other date being right. So we go back Monday for a non-stress test and if things looks fine we will wait until Thur to do another and an US to check fluid levels.

So that is where we are now. Physically I have been par for the course at 40 weeks but emotionally it has been a rough couple days. I am just praying she makes a move this next week and comes on her own and I am trying to keep the "what ifs" at bay. I almost wish at times I didn't have any of the NICU knowledge plaguing me because this would be much easier if I was naive. Each day I must turn the issue back over to God and trust in his plan. Easier said than done.

Nine whole months

I can't believe it is June 24th! First of all it is Sutton's second birthday. Sutton is the son of my best friend from college, Gina. It is so weird to be bonded with a kid that isn't even yours. There is something special about knowing someone so well and then watching them go through major life changes. It feels almost as if it is happening to you too. I remember waiting, anticipating his arrival in the hospital, going crazy when I finally got kicked out of the room so she could get ready to push, pacing the hallways with her dad and happening to walk by the room right as he cried out. Her dad and I looked at each other and started jumping around and celebrating because we knew he had made his entry into the world! Such a cool moment.

And now, 2 years later, I am a day away from being 40 weeks with my own baby. According to my LMP, this baby will have been in me for 9 long months tomorrow. Sutton's birthday, in my head, has marked the start of her birthday week and it is finally here! I know she doesn't have to come this week, but this marks some kind of milestone it feels we have reached. I can't wait to see her and it feels so soon! Come out and get some snuggles baby girl, we all want to meet you!

The waiting game

And so it begins....the seemingly endless countdown until her arrival. I went in for my weekly appt this Wed and was really hoping we had made some progress. I would just rather dilate without it being painful and start labor at a 2 or so, that sounds lovely. Only 8 cm left to go. Little girl thinks otherwise. After 2 weeks of primrose oil, zero progress. I am still half a cm and not effaced. The only progress she did make was dropping down. Rachel said she could feel her as soon as she started her cervical check and that her head was really low. So here is to hoping her head puts more pressure on my cervix and prompts some action. I was also told she is turning a bit in there so she is half way between sunny side up and posterior (the way you would like her to be.) Rachel told me to get in a pool and the water will help her turn back the way she was. I am also suppose to be doing stretches on all fours, rocking my hips back and forth to help with that. Since Wed night after my appt I started my 3 in a row, the pool will have to wait until this weekend and rocking around is all I have done.

I left the appt feeling really discouraged. More so than I thought I would be. I know we still have time before we have to intervene but I think one of my biggest fears in all of this is being induced. I really want to go into labor naturally. I really don't want pitocin, really really don't. The thought of inducing scares me because it is taking things out of my body's hands and without my natural instincts and pain control mechanisms I don't honestly have a lot of faith I can make it without meds. And not that it would be the end of the world, but I just want a chance to see what labor is like and what my body can do before I am forced into that decision. And whether they want to admit it or not, if labor doesn't start naturally, the baby is not ready to come yet. Your body knows when that little person has hit perfection on their incubation time and it is different for every baby. Just because they give you a 40 gestation mark doesn't mean some kids don't need 41 weeks or maybe only 37. It isn't science, it's a human being. If someone could guarantee that she would come on her own before 42 weeks I think a lot of my stress would be gone. I remember saying that about getting married. "If someone could just tell me I would marry Matt eventually, I wouldn't care how long we had to date." The long dating period was only hard because you were not sure if all your hard work and effort would be worth it in the end. The same goes for labor in my mind. I feel like we prepared a lot for this with books, classes, stretches, exercises and prayers. To work and mentally prepare that much only for someone to say, well too bad we are going to have to do something else to get baby to come out, would be such a let down for me. I say this all with the disclaimer that obviously we are on board for doing anything to get her out safely and ultimately a healthy baby and momma in the end is our biggest prayer. These are just my hopes and best case scenarios I keep playing out in my head. When I visualize my perfect labor it does not include an induction.

Matt is much more rational about all of this. He doesn't understand why I am stressing about all this already, we aren't even at the 40 week mark yet and we still have time to see what she will do. I wish I could be less emotional and more rational like him sometimes. His guess for her arrival date is July 6th so as far as he is concerned, she has plenty of time left. My pregnant hormones want to cry at the thought of waiting that long and I would prefer she comes earlier than that. What this really boils down to is I am not good with things I have no control over. I need to step back, chill out and trust God has the perfect birthday picked out for her and the perfect delivery in mind. A delivery that is unlike anyone else's and unique as she is, so comparing it to anything I know is just silly to try and do. So I am praying for peace that only God can provide and trusting in his faithfulness.

Pregnancy updates:

-I gained 6 lbs (holy moley) at this last appt so we are on track measuring fundal height and weight gain now. Guess she was just waiting to make her move until the end of the marathon.

-Sleep has been hard to come by. I can't get comfortable with this big belly no matter how many pillows are surrounding me. When I finally do get comfortable enough to start to drift off, I either get a charlie horse, need to pee, realize how thirsty I am, my leg falls asleep or I get itchy. Awesome. I have spent many hours alone on the couch in the middle of the night wasting time away so I don't bother Matt. This for sure has been my biggest third trimester struggle.

-My feet got swollen for the first time this week at work. I made the poor decision to skip the ted hose struggle and go to work without them. 7 hours into my shift and my feet started to feel tight in my crocs. I went to the bathroom and took off my sock to find little sausage toes staring back at me. Nice. I tried propping my feet up as much as I could for the rest of the night but my crabby kids had other plans for me. Both were crying, well one shrieking, for a good 2 straight hours. I went back and forth from their bedsides trying to calm them with little success. So then I had a headache, no patience and swollen feet. I was practically running out of there this morning. Peace out cranksters!

-My eczema is better in some places, worse in others. My face, neck and arms have cleared up some but behind my knees, ears and upper thighs have really taken a hit. It is so weird how random it is and why it flairs up where it does I will never know. My upper thighs are so irritated they are cracked and bleeding...that sounds favorable for delivery don't you think?

-My body is also gearing up to feed her. Another place that has itchy, eczema-like symptoms on my body. Lanolin cream and nursing pads...bring it on!

- I am growing out of my maternity t-shirts I bought to wear to work. They all ride up and my belly would poke out if I wasn't wearing an undershirt. I think that is sign enough it is time to come out little one.

-I am craving fruit again, first trimester style. I think I spent 20 dollars at the farmers market, 15 dollars at Price Chopper and another 10 at Walmart buying fruit a week ago. 45 dollars worth of fruit down the hatch and it was so worth every penny. It doesn't help all my favorites are expensive. Raspberries, blueberries, bing cherries, peaches...get in my belly. I also have a new unhealthy habit officially. Apples cut up and dipped in Carmel. I don't want to think about how many jars of Carmel I have eaten. I recently found some heath crumbles and coated the Carmel apples in them, even more healthy and delicious. Maybe that is where the 6lbs came from this week :)

-The countdown is on to some summer sangria as well. I have been craving this so badly and pinterest is not helping me out. People are pinning all sorts of summer beverages that look delicious. I will accept any "gift" snuck into the hospital if anyone so desires. We will be celebrating right?

Prayers for an easy last shift tonight would be appreciated. Hopefully only a week (3 days) left of work after this! I think I can, I think I can, I think I can....

Her Nursery

The long awaited post is finally here! In my ideal world, this post and her nursery would have been completed last month but at least it got done before she arrived. I am so happy with how everything turned out. It seems like forever ago that I was brainstorming ideas with fabric swatches. A million trips to Hobby Lobby, Joann's, Hancock fabrics... lots of Internet researching and pinning... countless hours of work from lots of family and friends and we are finished! So happy 38 weeks to me, no more stress!

We found her dresser at a First Fridays thrift store. It was refinished and covered with this awesome contact paper for a steal of a price. I made her button picture frame and her name will go under the flowers once we decide it :) It was Matt's idea to have the twine ball, he thought it went well with the other circles on the wall and reminded him of his giant rubber band ball he made growing up. Manda bought us her bear piggy bank and circle wall vases. I added some branches with tissue paper flowers to them and we love them!

Her mobile was an idea I got of pinterest. I made fabric flowers and hung them with thread from a hoop. Matt wanted that covered in twine too, it ties in now with her twine ball :)

The embroidery hoops was another pinterest idea. I had seen them done in so many ways and I loved how simple the idea was. I also love fabric and patterns. So early on this was my first inspiration for her room. I bought fabric along the way that I found matched and Amanda helped with the design/ layout of them. My Nana asked if she could contribute something to her room and I took her up on the offer. She is a mean cross stitcher and made us things all the time growing up. I sent her fabric swatches and some inspirational ideas and let her have at it. This guy arrived in the mail a few months later and it was perfect! Nana did such a great job and it is special she has something made from great grandma in her room.

After I got her last circle, I crafted one of my own with fabric buttons and a flower to add some balance, glued them all together and Matt hung them up above her crib.

My dad crafted her these bookshelves that hang in her nursing corner. I made some pillow covers to match and spice her rocker up a little.

 My dad also made her box around the top of the window and my mom covered it with fabric we used for her crib sheets.

These two pieces were a labor of love. Beth made her this painting based of an artist's work we saw at the plaza art fair last year and liked. What a memory! She matched the colors of the room so well and helped fill our wall space up. No way could I ever free hand a drawing like this, too cute! Her changing table was a gift from my parents. They bought it off craigslist and planned to paint the drawers. Easy in theory but the piece had some sort of finishing on it that made it IMPOSSIBLE to paint over. My mom tried coat after coat and they kept streaking and not drying. The drawers would be tacky a day later still. They sanded down to the base and tried all over again with the same results. They were a few tears away from scrapping the whole piece and finding something else out there when my dad suggested covering the drawers with a thin layer of wood and painting on that. So he glued wood faces to the front of the drawers and we crossed our fingers as they dried. They painted them the next day and finally they worked! What started out as an afternoon project turned into weeks of stress but the end result was exactly what they had imagined.

 A further back view to put the room into perspective.



Her closet, all organized up front. I am sure it will never look this neat again. My dad made her shelves to stack things under her clothes. He also made bookshelves/storage shelves in the closet nook.

And there you have it, her finished room. All we need is a sweet baby to go in it now :)

Nearing the end...hopefully

For a long time I have heard people talk about how they are so over being pregnant and ready to be done as they near the end. I have been making it through each week never feeling that way, feeling it was going at a good pace, feeling happy to still be pregnant and be healthy, really enjoying it and taking it all in. Well that ended this week. Not that I am not enjoying it anymore but the feeling of wanting to end this stage and move into the life with her stage has arrived. It came out of no where but came on strong. Just within the past few days, I have felt this sense that it's time. Possible reasons include...
-I have most things finally crossed off our to-do list
-Her room is done and ready for her
-I hate that it now takes me 10 min to struggle with my ted hose before work every night and I contemplate shredding them to pieces so they can't fight me any longer
-When I do my yoga now I feel like a uncoordinated cow and not a graceful momma
-I dread having a PO/bottle feeding kid at work because I can't hold them in my lap without being all hunched over and uncomfortable. She kicks at them to stop crowding her space and I plead with them to take their milk faster than the full 30 min allowed.
-I went to the pool, sat and tanned my front side then tried to turn over to tan my back...totally forgetting that is not possible anymore and having to awkwardly pretend that was not my intent and that I was just adjusting...thank you Beth for calling me out and making fun of my lack of foresight, you weren't going to let that one slide without being called out.
-I run her into everything now, thinking I can squeeze behind someone at the grocery store and instead belly bumping them and awkwardly apologizing, cutting corners too fast and smacking her into walls, turning over in bed and underestimating how much space I need so she bumps into Matt...I just can't grasp how much I am actually sticking out.
-I can't go on walks with my husband without feeling like a ran a marathon and need a nap asap.

All these semi-new reasons may be contributing to that feeling or maybe all women just reach that point, at some point and they know. If things didn't get harder or more awkward at the end, maybe people would be sad when pregnancy was over. Instead they are always happy...I guess the meeting your baby is part of that happiness too :)

Our appt Monday went well, my fundal height is now measuring on track with her gestational age and I gained more weight. GBS test was negative so no need for antibiotics or to have to rush to the hospital when/if my water breaks. Next appt will be on Wednesday because Mondays are really busy for Matt and he doesn't stand a chance of getting away from work to come. This leaves him the option to come if it works out and we are getting checked again to see if we are anymore dilated/effaced. Fingers crossed!

One of the weirdest experiences I am not having at this point in pregnancy is contractions. I am getting to the point where it is hard to tell if I am feeling something or if I am making it up. I am wanting to feel something and anticipating it so much that if I have pressure or she shifts funny I start thinking maybe this is one. It is similar to early kicks you may or may not pass off as gas bubbles or her moving. I have no clue what a contraction will feel like to me and they have been described so many different ways. I do know nothing has been painful, nothing has lasted a minute or so then died down, nothing has radiated around my sides to my back, and my stomach has never been as hard as I have felt my friends' in labor. Rachel says I am having them, whether I feel them or not, because my body is preparing itself. She is not worried saying it could be a good thing they aren't painful or even noticeable because maybe identifying labor won't be as hard then. It is just strange to me how some people can feel Braxton Hicks even in their second trimester and I have yet to only a few weeks out. I guess I am just curious.

In other news, we picked middle name options finally! We have a couple options for each of the top two names. There is one combination that really sticks out to me so it will be interesting to see if that is the name that sticks in the end.

Here is a snap shot of last weekend...

18th Street Fashion Show Downtown with Leanne...an annual tradition. We bought tickets this year so I could sit my 37 week butt down and watch. Good call that was since it was muggy as all get out and I would have probably passed out standing.

We also threw a little shower for Becca's baby. It was at Megan's house and was kind of carnival themed. I borrowed my parent's popcorn maker and we made ice cream sundaes. It was fun to sit around and talk/anticipate the coming of both our little ones.

Lastly Matt installed phase one of a three phase sprinkler system this weekend and I was impressed. It works so well and is really simple. It took a lot of planning, digging and re-digging but in the end I was proud of him and his creativity. So for $120 we should hopefully have our front lawn and side yard on a system with no hoses to mess with lugging around...YAY!

 

Sleeplessness

Can't sleep today because I feel like my mind is racing. I worked last night and only slept until 2:15 and I have to go back to work tonight....blah.

I am getting REALLY excited to meet her. To know her birthday, to look at her and know her name, to see what she looks like, to have her little hand grasp my finger, to kiss her little face, to meet someone who will part of our family forever. There are so many mixed emotions of anxiety, self doubt, nervousness, sadness, and anticipation that are all trapped in my head but the overall feeling is excitement. To not have this all planned out freaks me out but also calms me. God will determine when I go into labor, what that will look like, who will be in town, how many hours it will take, and when my daughter will be born. I am resting in the fact that he will be with me every step and already has a plan for me and our little girl. It is like waiting to open presents on Christmas except you don't know when Christmas will come. It could be tomorrow or a month from now. We are praying she wants to come the last week or June or first week of July so Aunt Gina can be here and my dad will be back from his Guatemala mission trip. But I am also praying for her to be healthy, for my labor to not be unmanageably long, for me not to tear, for Matt to not be stressed, and for us to have a happy memory of it all....that is a lot of prayers. I still need to do some surrendering. I need to get my mind in a place that no matter what prayers do or don't get answered, God is still God and he is always good.

Is this real life?

I woke up today to find a girl I work with who was due a week after me just gave birth to her son. It hit me that I am next. I mean I was suppose to be first, but I guess she beat me to it. I just sat here a little stunned that this is happening. I know logically I will have to give birth soon but putting it in perspective like this just seems so surreal. It also makes me anxious to stop procrastinating and finish up our baby to do list.

First on the list is discuss middle names, we have yet to do...at all. We narrowed her name down to two but need some middle name options. After talking a little this morning, I see why people resort to using a common middle name like Ann or Marie, they go with almost anything! So efforts to find a "different" middle name are more challenging than previously assumed. All the more reason to jump on this.

Second, finish her room. I worked a lot on this yesterday and all I have left is to buy a picture frame and paint it and figure out what to fill her vases with that Aunt Amanda bought her. Matt needs to finish spray painting her lamp as well but that is not my stress so it is not on my radar. Her hoop project is finally done and I love it. My Nana made her a hoop for the piece and it turned out great. I just think it is so special to have something made just for her. We hung that and the vases yesterday and I stitched her picture frame finally. I also finished sewing her changing pad cover and the last of her headbands I had brainstormed.

Third, make dinners to freeze so I don't have to cook when we come home. If anyone knows me, they know I am no Betty Crocker and I HATE cooking. So while I am not super pumped to check this off the list, I know I will appreciate it after she's here.

Lastly, install the car seat, set up the pack-n-play and pack our hospital bag. We have the hospital bag started but it's hard to pack stuff you use daily. So we made a list to check off before we head to the hospital so we don't leave essentials behind.

In other news, I started my weekly appts this past week. I can't believe I go back tom again already. I got GBS tested so I will find out the results from that tom. I don't think I will get checked again. Rachel checked me last Monday and I was 1/2cm and still thick. She said from this point on, she will only check me if I want to be. I think I will wait one more week to be checked again, I would rather not know my progress than be disappointed by it. She cleared me to start taking evening primrose oil, which helps to soften your cervix and help you efface. She said she started taking it at 35 weeks and her daughter came at 38, it really worked for her. Some people take to it and it helps, others it doesn't, but it doesn't hurt to try. I also gained a few more pounds and my fundal height is measuring more on track. No need for another ultrasound to check on baby, which was good news to hear....although I do love seeing her move around :)

Here are some back dated pictures, sorry I have been slow to post them.

I had to take my own picture this week so this is balanced on a bunch of pillows on my bed, take #12 or something ridiculous. Also explains the crookedness. My head was not cut off so this was a success.

These next ones are from First Friday. Had to sneak one in this summer before baby arrives. Beth, Alicia and I had a fun girls night.

 
Imitating the zombies that showed up to the art shows. There were a ton of them parading down the street. Some parents even dressed their kids up...interesting.

Last stop of the night, Murrays for some ice cream. I got a root beer float, best decision I have made in awhile.

Next up was Pierce and Blaine's first birthday. These two are freaking cute and were in such a good mood all day for their party. They had a great showing for the much anticipated cake eating and Katie did a phenomenal job setting up their party. She even made their monkey cake! Everything was so cute. Super mom she is :)

And here is where we are to date. Finishing up week 37! I am feeling big and awkward officially. I know I am not huge but I have grown a lot in the past few weeks and I am for sure feeling it.

 Cheese!

Look at those strips stretch...

Now I am off to be productive...I will make a post showcasing her nursery soon when we are all done!

Oh special shout out to my parents who are celebrating 29 years of marriage today. Happy Anniversary Grandma and Grandpa Springer!!

Memorial Day Weekend

What a great weekend. I have been loving being off work Friday, Saturday, Sunday these past few weeks. Matt and I have just been enjoying time together before baby girl arrives. Last Friday we went mini golfing at the Great Wolf Lodge. I didn't realize there was a mini golf course even there, let alone open to the public until I started looking through our coupon book and saw a buy one game, get a game free. Side Note: We made french toast at home, one of my favorite breakfast-dinners, with that good french bread before we headed out. I could eat that at least 4 times a week if you forced me to and now that I am thinking about it, I want some right now. Anyways, we drove over there and went inside the hotel to pay for a round. The people at the desk needed 4 associates to figure out our coupon and there was much talk/debate about how to process the free game. Then finally they looked up and said we were good to go. Matt was confused and asked if they needed his credit card. They responded no, everything was good to go. He insisted saying he had never paid for the first round and they had yet to take his card. The girl said something about it being a guest here and Matt corrected her saying we just came to play a round. She still wouldn't take his card so we shrugged and left. When we turned our poles back in, they still did not make us pay so I don't know what the deal was but thank you Great Wolf Lodge for our free rounds of golf :)

We still are stuck on a couple names for her so we decided to take our top two and have each of us play for one of them. We wrote them down, mixed them up, picked one and without looking, put it in our pocket. After a very close 18 holes, I came out victorious by 1 stroke! We pulled out the name in my pocket and she won for the night. We called her that name the rest of the night, trying it out to see how it fit. We are dorks, I know, but it was kind of entertaining.

After golf we went to rent a Redbox movie and made ice cream Sundays at home. Perfect end to date night. On Saturday, we slept in and then got a lot done around the house, finishing projects, cleaning, organizing and shopping. I went to Becca's baby shower which was lovely. Her friend made some great snacks, gotta have great snacks at a shower right? Becca got some great gifts and looked adorable in her summer dress with little man starting to stick out. After the shower we left for Mike and Whitney's Memorial Day BBQ. It was muggy all day but cooled off some in the evening and we spent most of the night on the deck. We played some lawn darts, which I found out are outlawed in the US and Mike had to buy them from Canada. We ate some amazing brisket that Mike had smoked since that morning in his smoker....oh my it was good, and hung out playing games, dancing and chatting it up. Good times all around minus the very tasty-looking homemade sangria that teased me all night.

Sunday was Josh's birthday so we went to Matt's grandparent's house to celebrate by the poolside. We had the whole in-town family there with spouses and significant others all present. It was so nice to have everyone together and we played tons of games in Clark like fashion. Kickball, whiffle ball and basketball in the pool. I made a better showing than at Easter but my teammates had to run the bases for me every time and were quite winded by the end of the games. It got a little aggressive in the infield with people getting mowed over, layed out and grass stained. Our family cracks me up with how competitive they can make simple games. It is all in good fun though and no one is mad after they lose. It also is ironic to me that Matt's aunt's name is Nancy. She is one of the most athletic people of the family yet her name in slang means some form of a pathetic, dainty, girly connotation....like you really nancy-ed that one. She is anything but that as she is smacking home runs over the boys heads'. :) Way to represent for the girls!

I slept much better this week during the days between my shifts, thank goodness! Itchies are still around but looking a little less awful and feeling slightly better. I do have the pregnancy congestion business in full effect now. Nothing like a drippy faucet nose and tissues laying all around the house, much to Matt's frustration, at the beg. of summer. I have not had terrible swelling which has been such a blessing, but anything that constricts me at all leaves indentions now for quite some time. My ted hose may have to be retired for that reason alone. They leave indentions down my belly and by my hips so bad. I know they are working but it just looks a bit concerning. They also make my belly itch now at work. Picture parents rounding the corner to a sniffiling nurse scratching her belly, good first impression... Her room is in the home stretch and will be done hopefully soon. I will put some pictures up as soon as it is. That's all for now!