Then the swing at the park...but only when we are going high is it any fun. Little dare devil.
Gotta love warm days in the winter....quoted as there are several feet of snow outside my window currently. :)
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
A day of firsts
First the ponytail....
Gotta love warm days in the winter....quoted as there are several feet of snow outside my window currently. :)
Gotta love warm days in the winter....quoted as there are several feet of snow outside my window currently. :)
On the move
Rowan started experimental crawling at the end of January. She would crawl forward once then stop and go to a sit, flatten out or stay on her hands and knees and just rock. By the first week of February though she had mastered putting her crawls together and was on all fours moving around. Now she follows me, crawling from room to room as we do our chores in the morning.
This was from the begining of the month. She first pulled to a stand on Jan 30th. Only Matt witnessed it as she grabbed onto the laundry basket and hoisted herself up. It took me a week or so to catch it on camera. Then I about had a heart attack when I found her in her crib standing after her nap. "Lower the crib rail" was on Matt's honey-do-list before he got home that night. Now she greets us standing after all her naps (hanging onto much higher rails now) and pulls up on anything around her during playtime. It is just crazy how fast they master new skills!
She is so proud when she learns something new and that is so fun to watch. At the same time though, part of me wants her to be a late bloomer and stay a baby for longer. Stop growing up so fast Rowan!
Valentine's Day
Better late than never right?
Rowan and I celebrated that week by hanging out with our friends Katie, Pierce and Blaine. They loved playing in this box together. Well correction, Blaine and Ro liked playing in the box together. Pierce would rather have played in it without Ro. He is cute but a wee bit jealous. Who could blame him though, he has to share everything in life already....who needs a girl coming in a taking up more of his time, stuff and mom's attention. :)
We got a super cute Valentine's day card in the mail from handsome Henry, our St. Louis friend, which inspired us to make some cards of our own. If I wasn't out of stamps I would have sent one back to you Emily. Looks like we will be sending a different holiday card to Henry in thanks :) I played off one of her nicknames, Ro-bee and made these cards for her friends. Her thumbprint made the little bee, which she was none too happy to help with once she realized she would not be eating the paint on her finger.
I think it is funny to play up the "young love" card with the twins since they arrived to meet Rowan in the hospital each with a rose on her birthday. It was so freaking cute. So I got a kick out of replying to their gesture... :)
I worked the night of Valentine's Day so Matt and I didn't celebrate. We don't usually anyway so it was no biggie. I was just happy to see him and get a kiss before heading into work. As I was leaving the house he was wrestling a cute little girl out of her clothes and getting her in the bath. He is so good with her and it made me thankful to have a partner in this parenting thing. I will take a husband who is involved, committed and loving every day of the year over flowers and chocolates for one. Cliche as that may sound, I really am thankful to be married to such a great dad to Rowan and husband to me. I felt the love even if we did nothing to commemorate it.
Another side note about Valentine's Day that will forever be special, a year ago on that day was the first time Matt ever felt Rowan move around inside of me. Who knew that little foot kicking us would turn out to be so darn cute :)
Rowan and I celebrated that week by hanging out with our friends Katie, Pierce and Blaine. They loved playing in this box together. Well correction, Blaine and Ro liked playing in the box together. Pierce would rather have played in it without Ro. He is cute but a wee bit jealous. Who could blame him though, he has to share everything in life already....who needs a girl coming in a taking up more of his time, stuff and mom's attention. :)
We got a super cute Valentine's day card in the mail from handsome Henry, our St. Louis friend, which inspired us to make some cards of our own. If I wasn't out of stamps I would have sent one back to you Emily. Looks like we will be sending a different holiday card to Henry in thanks :) I played off one of her nicknames, Ro-bee and made these cards for her friends. Her thumbprint made the little bee, which she was none too happy to help with once she realized she would not be eating the paint on her finger.
I think it is funny to play up the "young love" card with the twins since they arrived to meet Rowan in the hospital each with a rose on her birthday. It was so freaking cute. So I got a kick out of replying to their gesture... :)
I worked the night of Valentine's Day so Matt and I didn't celebrate. We don't usually anyway so it was no biggie. I was just happy to see him and get a kiss before heading into work. As I was leaving the house he was wrestling a cute little girl out of her clothes and getting her in the bath. He is so good with her and it made me thankful to have a partner in this parenting thing. I will take a husband who is involved, committed and loving every day of the year over flowers and chocolates for one. Cliche as that may sound, I really am thankful to be married to such a great dad to Rowan and husband to me. I felt the love even if we did nothing to commemorate it.
Another side note about Valentine's Day that will forever be special, a year ago on that day was the first time Matt ever felt Rowan move around inside of me. Who knew that little foot kicking us would turn out to be so darn cute :)
Monday, February 25, 2013
Accepting my 8.5 average
I am a glass half full kind of person. I like to think the best of a situation, focus on the positives, see potential and get really excited about things. While I am not like this all the time outwardly, this is the mindset I yearn to live in. I like to plan, anticipate, be hopeful and have things to look forward to. This works out well for me when things go as planned but can set me up for failure when they don't.
Matthew on the other hand, by nature, is a glass half empty kind of person. I don't say this to make a point that one is better than the other, because one isn't, I just say it to show that we approach life from different viewpoints. Matthew's educational background in accounting and life experiences have taught him a mindset of plan for the worst, set low expectations, don't get your hopes up, be conservative. It would be better to aim low and come in higher than aim high and undershoot a goal.
Real life example to illustrate this point...
We hear of a family vacation being planned. Rachael says YES!, starts researching on the Internet about said vacation, looks into plane tickets, takes PTO, and mentally gets stoked about going somewhere when in actuality we have not even committed to going. Matthew says WE WILL SEE, dismisses the thought until Rachael brings it up again, then doubts PTO will be available, wonder what work will look like then, how that fits into our budget and what obligations we have.
If we get to go on this trip I will still be pumped and Matt will work up his excitement in the day or two right before we leave and we will have a great time. If we don't get to go, I am poopy pants and mope around while he goes on with life as usual. Then I may even get a little mad at him for not being more let down like me....silly.
So having the kind of mindset that I do, I think I came into motherhood with extremely high expectations. It was what I wanted all my life after all. It was what I saw modeled to me by my own stay at home mom. It was what I journaled about, prayed about, dreamed about for years. Even when I wasn't ready to take it on in the early years of our marriage, I knew someday I would have a lot of kids and enjoy great relationships with them. I had a very rosy outlook on motherhood. This was tempered by my realistic view of babies/children. I think because I knew of the crying, disciplining, nurturing, and struggles that kids come with I sort of overlooked how much my own life would change and focused mainly on what kids would be like.
Now having half a year of motherhood under my belt, I am examining my heart. It is still hard for me to look at my life and see just how much it has changed since Rowan has been born. What did I do with myself before she came along? How did I fill my days before making baby food, cleaning diapers, breastfeeding, stacking blocks, reading books and chasing a crawling 7 month old around the house.Oh yea, that's right, I did whatever I wanted and it was great. But it didn't include Ro, which is the greatest thing about my life now most days.
What I have come to accept is that she is painfully making me a less selfish person and teaching me to prioritize life a little better. I fight this change often; wishing for more sleep, more alone time, more friend time, more Matt time. In the middle of the struggle I can feel overwhelmed, frustrated, impatient, and even cynical. I think those emotions all stem from my fallen expectations. I set the bar high and I came in under. However, I am finding that "under" is not a bad place at all, just a more realistic one. If there was a 1-10 scale of how great being a parent was, I aimed at 12 and landed on 8.5. (Matt probably aimed at a 6 and got 8.5). Some days are totally a 12 and live up to every dream I had but others can be much lower on the scale if we can be honest. The score doesn't have everything to do with Rowan either. She is a great baby overall, we have been blessed truly. The score has more to do with me adopting motherhood as part of my identity. I don't like experiencing all those negative emotions so I have been working to be content with my 8.5 average, even excited about it. I'm trying not to mourn the loss of the unrealistically unsustainable 12 and instead remain hopeful in God's plan for my life.
As hard as being a mom can be sometimes, I know that God is using this for my good. Motherhood makes me die to myself daily, choosing God's way instead, something that my soul resists with or without Ro. It is a theme our church has been discussing since the start of the new year and the topic of the book Matt and I are reading for Lent. Clearly God is wanting me to take a hint and reflect on what it means to take up the cross and die to my own selfish ways of living life. Embracing the gifts of my new life as a mother, not dwelling on the struggles - following Christ's lead to be so filled with love that there is no room for anything else.
"Discipleship is more than turning over a new leaf. It is more fitful and disorderly than gradual moral formation. Nothing less than daily, often painful, lifelong death will do. So Paul seems to know not whether to call what happened to him on the Damascus Road "birth" or "death" -
it felt like both at the same time."
-William Willimon
Saturday, February 9, 2013
Seven Months Old
Ro baby you are getting to be such a big girl! We now have play dates where you don't just sit there and look around. You are moving, wiggling, scooting and crawling all over the place. You are developing into such a little personality as well. This past month has been a lot of fun for our family :)
- We started food this past month and you have eaten apples, pears, mango, avocado, bananas, sweet potatoes, carrots, green peppers, peas and Gerber puffs aka stars. You love stars and figuring out how to chew them. We put them on your tray but they are so easily dissolvable that they stick to your hands and you can't get them in your mouth. So you pick one up, it gets lost in your palm and then you look for it all confused when nothing makes it into your mouth. We also gave you a sippy cup to practice with and you already have figured out how to suck water from it.
-We are trying to sign a lot with you. Our most common signs are eat, milk, hungry, more, sleep, play, stars, water, change your pants, books, all the colors and animals we can think of, mom, dad, food you eat, and bath. You respond to some of the signs with excitement so we think you understand some of what we are signing. You love the signs for milk and stars...go figure.
-You learned to sit up from the laying down position so now you are much more independent. If you fall over reaching for something you scoot over to it and push yourself back up to a sit. Yes, I did say scoot. You also have learned to start army crawling and taking small crawls forward. For a long time you would get up on all fours and rock, which would just scoot yourself backward and make you frustrated. Now you can lunge, scoot and crawl forward. It takes you awhile to get anywhere but you are determined. Daddy also saw you pull up to a stand for the first time last week. That just blows my mind.
-You weighed 16 lb 9 oz. Your head circumference was 17 in and your length was 27 in at your dr appt. 2 weeks ago.
-You still fit into the same size clothes, 3-6 month tops, 6-9 month bottoms.
-We just bumped up your cloth diaper size to 4/4 leg settings.
-You still nurse 5 times a day and now eat food once, usually during the afternoon or evening. You will take around 5-6 oz per feed and take more, sometimes up to 8 oz before bedtime.
-I put your hair in a ponytail for the first time and you looked so sweet. You probably could have rocked a ponytail earlier with all your hair but I didn't want you growing up too fast on me.
-We went to the park on a warm day this month and you got to swing for the first time. No surprise, you loved it. Now I can't wait for warm weather all the time so we can go to the park on play dates.
-You are unsure if you want to drop your 3rd nap. Most days you sleep really well in the morning from 8-10 then again from 12-130 or 2. But that last stretch you usually fight us more. Sometimes you will cry for 30 min and not ever want to fall asleep and other days you fuss for 5 or so then fall asleep for an hour. It is never consistent though. Wake time is still in the 6 o'clock hour and bedtime is at 7.
-Patty Cake was introduced and now you smile and get excited to play along with us.
-You and your dad like to play a game where you lay on your backs and throw a ball into the air. Then dad either catches it or drops it saying, "whoopsies!" You think this is hilarious and will laugh for 15 straight min at him.
-You have become a little more clingy this month. If I leave the room where you are playing, you are likely to lose it. You do fine if someone else is playing with you but if it is just us and I leave it is waterworks city.
-You like to pull your socks off and suck on them. Weirdo :)
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- We started food this past month and you have eaten apples, pears, mango, avocado, bananas, sweet potatoes, carrots, green peppers, peas and Gerber puffs aka stars. You love stars and figuring out how to chew them. We put them on your tray but they are so easily dissolvable that they stick to your hands and you can't get them in your mouth. So you pick one up, it gets lost in your palm and then you look for it all confused when nothing makes it into your mouth. We also gave you a sippy cup to practice with and you already have figured out how to suck water from it.
-We are trying to sign a lot with you. Our most common signs are eat, milk, hungry, more, sleep, play, stars, water, change your pants, books, all the colors and animals we can think of, mom, dad, food you eat, and bath. You respond to some of the signs with excitement so we think you understand some of what we are signing. You love the signs for milk and stars...go figure.
-You learned to sit up from the laying down position so now you are much more independent. If you fall over reaching for something you scoot over to it and push yourself back up to a sit. Yes, I did say scoot. You also have learned to start army crawling and taking small crawls forward. For a long time you would get up on all fours and rock, which would just scoot yourself backward and make you frustrated. Now you can lunge, scoot and crawl forward. It takes you awhile to get anywhere but you are determined. Daddy also saw you pull up to a stand for the first time last week. That just blows my mind.
-You weighed 16 lb 9 oz. Your head circumference was 17 in and your length was 27 in at your dr appt. 2 weeks ago.
-You still fit into the same size clothes, 3-6 month tops, 6-9 month bottoms.
-We just bumped up your cloth diaper size to 4/4 leg settings.
-You still nurse 5 times a day and now eat food once, usually during the afternoon or evening. You will take around 5-6 oz per feed and take more, sometimes up to 8 oz before bedtime.
-I put your hair in a ponytail for the first time and you looked so sweet. You probably could have rocked a ponytail earlier with all your hair but I didn't want you growing up too fast on me.
-We went to the park on a warm day this month and you got to swing for the first time. No surprise, you loved it. Now I can't wait for warm weather all the time so we can go to the park on play dates.
-You are unsure if you want to drop your 3rd nap. Most days you sleep really well in the morning from 8-10 then again from 12-130 or 2. But that last stretch you usually fight us more. Sometimes you will cry for 30 min and not ever want to fall asleep and other days you fuss for 5 or so then fall asleep for an hour. It is never consistent though. Wake time is still in the 6 o'clock hour and bedtime is at 7.
-Patty Cake was introduced and now you smile and get excited to play along with us.
-You and your dad like to play a game where you lay on your backs and throw a ball into the air. Then dad either catches it or drops it saying, "whoopsies!" You think this is hilarious and will laugh for 15 straight min at him.
-You have become a little more clingy this month. If I leave the room where you are playing, you are likely to lose it. You do fine if someone else is playing with you but if it is just us and I leave it is waterworks city.
-You like to pull your socks off and suck on them. Weirdo :)
You weren't very smiley for this photo shoot either. Dad tried getting behind me and acting a fool but you were not buying it. You have another little cold with a snuffy nose and I think you are starting to teeth...aeb not napping well, being all snugly but crabby, sucking on anything cold like it may be the last cold thing you will ever find, and gnawing on things typically you would not have gone for before. Overall you have just been more cranky than usual this past week. It is hard to tell if it is from the cold or it's something else. Guess we will see. Still cute as a button though! We love you Ro bear!
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