Indecisive

Well this week has hit the culmination of stress up to this point of the pregnancy. Now that we know we are having a girl, all the decisions I was putting off are now smacking me in the face. In no particular order, here are the topics of conversation that have been talked about, researched and debated in the Clark household this week.

-Girl names  We bought a baby naming book thinking a book would be more manageable than the Internet. It led to Matt's list growing, with some really peculiar picks, and me still not loving many options. I came up with a small list of my own but all of them have something that bugs me. I am trying to just say them more often in hopes of me forgetting I have any qualms about them in the first place. No-go so far.

-Crib options This started out as a promising item to check off our list and has turned into a guilty nightmare. I originally started looking on Craigslist for a crib. I am not picky at all about the style, I just wanted white. We searched for a month or so emailing people with questions and negotiating prices. We found some great options for 75-100 dollars, much cheaper than the average crib at baby stores online I had seen. I also started researching crib safety about this time and realized that the latest recommendation is that cribs don't have drop rails. All sides should be stationary and the mattress should just have adjustable heights. I guess kids have been injured or killed by these drop rails and they are no longer making models like this as of last year. Which is great considering all used cribs would be made prior to that date and most likely still have drop rails. Sure enough, every person selling their crib that I emailed confirmed this fact. So then I was faced with a dilemma....stick to the latest safety standards and get a new crib or ignore the new guidelines and continue searching. My head was telling me that these instances of injury/death were probably rare but the safety people wanted to cover their butts and make new guidelines. I mean we grew up with drop rails, all the kids I babysat had them, daycares and nurseries had them...how harmful were they to any of us? If we bought a sturdy wooden crib that had a good latching mechanism we should be fine. Then I started talking to my friends about the issue. They brought up things like... What if the paint has lead in it? What if they didn't assemble it correctly? What if their kid/family/home was disgusting and your kid is now sleeping on the same mattress? What if their kid chewed all over the rails? What if something DID happen and your kid got hurt? How much money is your child's safety worth?....and the guilt began. I understand some things are not meant to be bought second hand like a carseat or breast pumping supplies....but a crib? It honestly never struck me as a dangerous item. So Matt and I started looking into new cribs to just see what was out there. We went to Nebraska Furniture Mart, USA Baby, Buy Buy Baby and Babies R Us. All the cribs there were either not a white option or anywhere from 400-1000 dollars. I was getting really frustrated by this point. We grabbed some food and brainstormed other options like Target or Sears that we had heard our friends had luck at. After looking online tonight I was pleasantly surprised at some options we found. I am still not crazy about ordering a crib I have never seen or felt the sturdiness of, so I am hoping we can see some in person, but I am hopeful moving forward. So there is where we leave off in the crib saga.

-Dresser options Much like the crib, we wanted to get these bigger pieces first to start planning her room. So the hunt began for a dresser. We went to some thrift stores that open on the first Fridays of the month here to try out our luck. After working 12 hours Thur night, I stayed awake to go to breakfast with my mom and head to these stores. Well Friday morning rolls around and it is pouring rain, I am in my crocs so my feet are soaked in 5 seconds and stay wet for the next 4 hours. The breakfast option we picked doesn't open until 8 so we waited in the car not so patiently. By the time we get to the first store I am tired, cranky, cold and wet...awesome. We ended up finding a really cute mini set of drawers for her room but no big dresser after a couple hours of looking. We saw some good options but they were all too expensive. Then I hurried home to get in bed since I had to wake up and go back to work that night. Sitting at work at 8pm that night I decided the 5 hours of sleep I had gotten was not going to cut it and shopping was probably a poor decision. My mom was such a good sport putting up with me and I am thankful we got to go. She had never experienced either store and it was fun to share that with her, I just wished the circumstances were better. Not an overall bust though considering we got a cute piece and got a feel for what was out there and what we want for the room.

The list continues with fewer stories and just more items of consideration.

-Cloth diaper options
-Car Seat options
-Stroller options
-Window treatment options...do we see a trend here?

My list has a lot of options. This is a problem for me because as of late, I am the most indecisive person ever. That is not my norm, I usually have opinions, I can tell you what I like. Well not anymore it seems. My pregnancy brain has not been forgetful, it has just been unable to pull the trigger about any decision I have. Where to eat dinner, what to pack for lunch, what movie to watch...if these are difficult, try picking a bigger decision. I read reviews and ask people's opinions and still can't make up my mind about anything for the baby. It is so odd.

Lucky for me, Matt has recognized this new behavior and adapted to it. He offered to help research, shop and give his opinions on things this weekend and it has been so helpful. It has taken a lot of the pressure off me and for that I am grateful. I just hope I am able to feel content with decisions we make and start being productive soon. Even though I can't seem to make decisions, my type-a personality is still expecting things to keep moving. Hopefully those two traits start working together soon and our to-do list starts becoming a done list.

And before this week gets away from me, here is our 19 week picture taken Monday.

I wore my first maternity shirts this week, not because I had to, but because I could :) I have decided from this week on I will start wearing different shirts on Monday for my picture. The white shirt helped when my bump was small to compare growth, but I am sticking out enough now to tell in normal clothes so why not spice it up.

This last picture is one of the fabric I bought for baby's room. This is the color palate we are working with. This was a decision I was glad I executed :)