Last weekend Gina, Adam and Sutton came to KC to celebrate our news. I remember finding out Gina was pregnant over the phone and having to wait to see her and celebrate. Those are the times that I wished we lived closer and could share moments like that in person. So I know how excited she was to get here and catch up. Even though they were only in town for about 24 hrs we managed to squeeze in a lot of fun. They left their mark in a number of ways, some of which include....one blue ornament on my red and silver Christmas tree......3 wise men that are now bum-rushing Mary in my manger....a missing airplane ornament....32 different kinds of paper airplanes and helicopters I am still finding in corners of my living room....a 30-some dollar bill from multiple chic-fil-a trips....and a sweet cliff jumping video now saved to our favorites bar. I have said so many times how nice it is that our husbands get along so well. It makes visits so fun knowing Matt is enjoying himself flying RC airplanes around the room and getting beat at Bond, while I can have some much needed girl time. She also brought a blankie and diapers for baby. For whatever reason the diapers got me. I keep looking at them thinking how weird it is that I will be using those soon. They weirded me out so much I just hid them under a bunch of books. I feel like a 2 year old hiding under a blanket, if no one can see them...they don't exist, right? I am just not ready for the diapers yet.
While she was in town, Gina also took pictures of Katie's twin boys. They are so cute....the boys and pictures. http://ginadreherphotography.com/2011/12/the-weil-twins-family/ You should for sure check them out. Isn't my friend Katie gorgeous too? She gives all moms hope out there. If she can pull herself together so well with twin 6 mo olds, surely I can do it with one....at least that's what I keep telling myself.
I think my biggest fear as of late with this journey is not knowing how I will identify with my life as a mom. I know moms that become so self consumed with being a mom that they lose some of who they were as a person before. And I know motherhood will effect me, but I hope that it will just enhance who I am as a person, not change it all together. I think God blessed me with certain gifts and character traits that run the risk of being swallowed up by being a mom and I really want to be intentional about preserving that. When I am the most like who he made me to be; is when, I feel, I will be the best mom. So I have been praying lately that I don't lose sight of that. I have also talked about how much I love my life right now and I hope by adding this baby into my life, I will still be able to incorporate activities and choices I made pre-baby. I think that is one of the main reasons this first trimester has been so hard on me. Feeling sick all the time and sometimes depressed, I have not been able/felt up to having breakfast with friends after work, bringing meals to friends, visiting my sweet niece and just loving on others in general. So much of this past year has been opportunities the Lord has given me to bless my friends and family and I have found such joy in doing that. Now that the tables have turned some and I can't bless others as regularly, part of me feels sad. I just hope as this pregnancy moves along and even after baby gets here, I start feeling more like myself again and I can find time to still incorporate serving others. In the meantime, I will practice the act of giving thanks to all those who have pitched in and helped Matt and I. By meals, emails, texts, gifts....any form of encouragement has not gone unnoticed and we love you all for it! We are very blessed.
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